Bye Columbus. Hello St. Petersburg!

The first time my family moved to Tampa, you could buy a license plate for the front of your car that read, “Tampa: Where the Good Life Gets Better.” I was in high school.

About 20 years later, my wife and I loaded up the car and moved to Atlanta, where the slogan was “We just had the Olympics. What did your city have? An expo for telemarketers?” This was a welcome break for us as this slogan was more difficult for my four-year-old to read than “L-i-v-e Noo-oood-eee guh-urrl-s,” which had unofficially replaced the “Good Life” slogan.

So what’s different? Well, it’s a helluva lot easier to drive around here if you avoid rush hour. It seems like the bridges get backed up in both directions now, which means jobs grew in Pinellas. It seems like rush hour is shorter, and when it’s not rush hour, I can get from St. Petersburg to Lutz in about 30 minutes. Nice job FDOT! I remember seeing these I-275 and Veterans Expressway expansion plans 25 years ago and thinking I’d be in my grave before they happened. There are other positive changes as well, and I’ll go into those another time.

But there is one thing that’s the same. That’s the Publix Parking Lot Creepers (PPLC). They’ve expanded their territories into Target, Walmart and The Home Depot, but it’s like this. You’re walking to your car. They think you’ve got a better parking space than what’s available. So they creep up behind you in their Pontiacs and Mercurys and wait to see where you’ve parked.

“Sorry. My parking space isn’t that interesting,” is what I’m saying to them. I’d forgotten about the PPLC during my absence, but I really find this annoying. Anyway, now you’ll find me parked out in the hinterlands. Stop by and say “Hello!” and I might even give you a resume.