So there I was, again, at the Trader Joe’s in Dublin, OH. Somewhere near the pre-made salads, I saw the horseradish. But as I eyed my prey, a woman stared vacantly at the array of boxes of salads. Some had meat. Some did not.
“Excuse me, please,” I said as I reached for the horseradish. She obliged my request, and looked me in the eye, and said, “Have you heard about the health benefits of horseradish?”
“Me? Uh, no. I don’t follow that kind of news.” She looked puzzled, so I asked “Why?”
“Well, I’ve heard it has health benefits, and I wondered what people do with it. I’m trying to eat healthier,” she said.
I wanted to say, “Lady, you don’t need to eat healthier. You need to eat less and get more active.” To describe her body shape as amorphous would have been accurate. But who am I to judge?
So I said, “Well, I’m getting it because my son is coming home from college for a week and we use it on sandwiches and we’re almost out.”
She continued to look puzzled. “I’ve heard of using it with roast beef, but…”
“Oh, you can put it on anything. It goes on ham, turkey, obviously beef. You name it. You can make seafood cocktail sauce with it for shrimp, fried fish…”
What it came down to was she was afraid of trying a $1.99 jar of horseradish. And given that she was dressed up, wearing jewelry and had spent some time on her appearance, it seemed like she could afford $1.99. The worst that could happen is she’d buy the horseradish, try it, and not like it.
I believe some people are put on this Earth to be examples of what we’re not supposed to do. Sure, we know people who act like jerks or are wasting their lives in horrific ways. But this? Being afraid of $1.99 jar of horseradish? That’s a hell of an example.
America's Most Important Man! 